embracing your true self - when you feel like you don’t belong

embracing your true self - when you feel like you don’t belong

Loneliness is a feeling most of us experience at some point in our lives. I have always believed loneliness is an emotion, not a location. Being alone with ones thoughts can be quite comforting for many, including myself, and if your internal life in enriched, solitude can be a haven of tranquility. In my individual case, resolving my feelings of aloneness was by reaching out to others, but also nourishing my spirit with quality time alone. For many years I didn’t want to accept my introversion and forced myself to socialize to the point of feeling burned out. My relationships benefit me far more now because I make the effort to connect every day and also to listen to my need for time to recharge. Everything is a balance, and everyone is unique - I encourage you to embrace your journey of discovery. Every story takes time to unravel.

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Once, a former coworker of mine admitted to me that she struggled with constantly getting caught up in gossip and drama within her relationships. She felt like her world was always tumultuous, and she didn’t know how to cultivate stable bonds with her friends and lovers. I was able to observe her over several years and how she made the decision to stop investing such an enormous amount of time in people that made her feel chaotic. Instead, interestingly enough, she started studying anthropology, a topic that had always interested her but she had never taken the time to learn. She got involved in a baking club, learned to knit. She was always excited to tell me about what she had recently learned or about a new recipe she had discovered. Her choice of conversational topics was no longer the most recent disaster in her personal life. She even mentioned one day that gossip had started to feel meaningless, and that she couldn’t believe that only a few months ago what other people thought of her was at the forefront of her mind. During this time, she struggled with loneliness, since she had stopped spending time with certain friends she didn’t think influenced her in a positive way. But she also felt more at peace and - for the first time - hopeful about a future where she could slowly but surly build the life and relationships she had always wanted in her heart. Over time, she met new people that suited her and resolved that sense of instability and loneliness. She’s a mother and artist now, and as far as I know incredibly happy. It was beautiful to see her bloom and embrace the idea that loneliness isn’t always a bad thing, but can inspire incredible change.

When you feel lonelyFor those who feel lonelyIt’s ok to be lonely